The Mom Challege: Week 9 Excuses excuses

(Here is a list of all of The Mom Challenges!)

Ready for my soap box rant?  Here it goes.  My biggest gripe about people is that sometimes it seems as a society we are getting lazy and unable to take responsibility.  Everyone has an excuse.  I understand as parents we want the best for our children (oh trust me I do!) and that we want our children to have things that we may not have had (yup, I agree) and that we would love it if our children didn’t have to struggle like we have had (again I agree).  BUT that does not mean that we should teach our children the easy way out and how to make excuses and blame problems on someone or something else!

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For example, there is a school in a town we used to live in.  The grading scale was the same that it was at my old high school, a little more challenging than the 90% and above is an A, 80% and above is a B scale that are at some schools.  The parents were having a fit because they wanted the school to change the grading scale so their child’s GPA scores would be fair compared to a child who went to a say an easier school when they went to apply for college (which by the way the college takes in to account the high school’s grading scale).  The school ended up changing the grading scale.  Parents were happy.  Kids were really happy.  But what does that teach your kids?   You don’t have to work as hard?  That bad grade on your test wasn’t you fault it was your schools? Well I graduated from that high school (I moved halfway through my senior year – BOO) and you know what happened?  Lots of kids got into college (esp since it was a known fact that you barely had to show up your senior year of high school to get an A – after all you were a senior you deserve to not have to do anything.  My English final?  Watch The Lion King. Right?) First year of college – I would say ¾ of the kids had to drop out because they couldn’t keep up with the work!  They had been trained to not have to!

(Don't build walls for you or your child! Source)

I remember when Josh started Kindergarten.  We went to open house met the teacher, put his supplies away and got packets of information for the following year.  Then everyone went down to the cafeteria for a snack.  The kids were all talking about how excited they were and the parents were all complaining about how hard it was going to be! “They have to read before they can go into 1^st grade?”  “They start addition in Kindergarten?  I didn’t do that until at least 1^st grade.”  “This is ridiculous!”  Guess what.  The kid’s all learned how to read.  They all learned addition.

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Josh is going into 4^th grade.  Do you know how many kids who asked me to help them tie their shoes at his last day of school party?  The teacher said they don’t know how to do it.  Instead of teaching them it’s easier for the parents to buy Velcro or those spring-y shoe laces that don’t need to be tied.  Because it’s hard and your kid’s complain their solution was taking the easy way out. 

(Free printable available here)

Kids (and adults) CAN do hard things.  At one particular daycare I walked in on snack time.  They were giving 2 year olds cups – without lids!  I thought are you crazy?  My child would make a HUGE mess.  But they didn’t.  Because someone gave them the opportunity to learn how to do it.  They challenged them.

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We, as parents, need to stop making excuses for our children before we ever give them the chance!  We need to teach them that failing is ok – there is always a next time.  Not if at first you don’t succeed its ok because it’s someone/something else’s fault.  I call it the McDonald’s is making you fat messed up way of thinking syndrome.

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You have to fail in life.  Otherwise you wouldn’t strive to get better.  So this week’s challenge:  Whew.  Finally getting to it!  (Is anyone still reading?!? LOL)

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Don’t make excuses for your children.  Especially before they even have the chance to try.  Challenge your child on something.  Help them through the first few times and show them they may not get it the first time.  They will have to work at it.  But if you catch them throwing out the blame game card, stop them!  Tell them it’s ok for them not to have gotten it but it’s not ok for them to blame others.  Just simply try again. 

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